dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
