Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
