Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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