Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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