this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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