So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
