I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize