ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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