I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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