no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
