How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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