Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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