so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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