Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
