from now on my penis is your penis
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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