I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
