She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
