no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I smell like Dick and happiness
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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