he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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