I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize