used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
