hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
