Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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