Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
