No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
