you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
