Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
