Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Green mimosas i think yes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize