its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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