Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
