Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My friends, they love my intelligence
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
