Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
