its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
