I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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