Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
