you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
