Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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