Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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