The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
