Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
