i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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