idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
