Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize