i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
