so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My vagina is officially offended.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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