That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
