..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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