I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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