Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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