You're completely useless in the revolution.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
