I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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