Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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