Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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