I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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