She's JV to your varsity
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
