Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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